$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
