his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
