Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
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She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
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That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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