belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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