did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
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my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
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Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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