And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
