She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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