would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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