ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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