i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
