im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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