Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
