i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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