I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
