Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
God, I missed his penis.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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