Swine flu is the new snow day.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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