So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
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We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
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Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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