I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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