went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
