She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
