My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
