White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
