Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
