Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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