Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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