i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm passing your future prison.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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