I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
