Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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