If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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