His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
