Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
