this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.