Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm

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  (650): Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm http://tfl.nu/tho2
  Replies (19) Good night (1555) Bad night (792)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you don't even go to loyola anymore

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  (504): loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs (314): you don't even go to loyola anymore http://tfl.nu/fisu
  Replies (45) Good night (7966) Bad night (924)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story

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  (860): im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story http://tfl.nu/k55u
  Replies (16) Good night (3745) Bad night (927)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.

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  (843): Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way. http://tfl.nu/hex7
  Replies (23) Good night (5392) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...

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  (313): How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka... http://tfl.nu/gnte
  Replies (29) Good night (7119) Bad night (2746)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.

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  (425): I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely. http://tfl.nu/v43n
  Replies (4) Good night (2929) Bad night (1782)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay

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  (512): Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay http://tfl.nu/t4tt
  Replies (9) Good night (4497) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.

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  (316): I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8zh1
  Replies (41) Good night (5980) Bad night (1706)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.

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  (740): I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing. http://tfl.nu/h581
  Replies (10) Good night (2406) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Thanks bro

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  (319): Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement? (1-319): Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice. (319): Thanks bro http://tfl.nu/7e10
  Replies (9) Good night (967) Bad night (1679)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

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  (419): we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit http://tfl.nu/q27h
  Replies (16) Good night (3007) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.

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  (706): The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina. http://tfl.nu/6jcd
  Replies (10) Good night (2431) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.

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  (330): He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life. http://tfl.nu/pmkh
  Replies (5) Good night (1195) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless

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  (208): I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless http://tfl.nu/p6fh
  Replies (9) Good night (677) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (+58): View more from

  Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.

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  (+58): Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother. http://tfl.nu/wull
  Replies (4) Good night (580) Bad night (318)

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