Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

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  (913): Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor. http://tfl.nu/qg7g
  Replies (35) Good night (5312) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.

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  (845): I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day. http://tfl.nu/52wz
  Replies (14) Good night (4335) Bad night (845)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere

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  (404): dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere http://tfl.nu/lbp8
  Replies (13) Good night (5516) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?

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  (419): I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included? http://tfl.nu/4lo3
  Replies (17) Good night (5230) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy

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  (315): There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy http://tfl.nu/q2vq
  Replies (6) Good night (2138) Bad night (3595)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.

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  (847): At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know. http://tfl.nu/0yrr
  Replies (3) Good night (2285) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.

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  (440): I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray. http://tfl.nu/d3w5
  Replies (10) Good night (1867) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently

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  (619): Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently http://tfl.nu/19aa
  Replies (6) Good night (1800) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar

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  (765): Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar http://tfl.nu/ejig
  Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.

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  (971): I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up. http://tfl.nu/s3lx
  Replies (4) Good night (1480) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.

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  (717): Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale. http://tfl.nu/0gl5
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?

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  (616): I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day? http://tfl.nu/5vcx
  Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I bought something for you today. You'll love it.

  (909): View more from California

  What is it? Drugs?

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  (562): I bought something for you today. You'll love it. (909): What is it? Drugs? http://tfl.nu/q4iy
  Replies (4) Good night (1168) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.

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  (979): I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer. http://tfl.nu/rxqs
  Replies (5) Good night (644) Bad night (159)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.

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  (408): Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard. http://tfl.nu/3g4r
  Replies (3) Good night (295) Bad night (117)

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