Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.

(248): View more from Michigan

who is this?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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(440): View more from Ohio

dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...

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(443): View more from Maryland

a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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(330): View more from Ohio

just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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(650): View more from California

If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!

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(727): View more from Florida

You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.

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