I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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