Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
