Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
