i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
