Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize