Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
