She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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