I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
