you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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