mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
