3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
