that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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