Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
