You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I want a musical about memes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
