VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
