we have officially lost it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
