Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
