i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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