I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
