I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
