what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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