I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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