So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Enjoy the penises
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
