Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
