so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
