i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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