Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize