i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize