your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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