Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
