Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
