um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
