3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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