Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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